My Birth Story.

I am sharing the birth story of my first baby, my son Alexander who was born January 14th of this year. I am sharing this because I LOVE hearing birth stories from other women! My story is not going to be the same as anyone else’s story and THAT is what makes it beautiful. There are so many ways to bring a baby into this world and we should all focus on what works best for us and our circumstances. Hopefully my story gives confidence and reassurance to those of you who are preparing for birth, whether it’s your first baby or your fifth!

I woke up at about 6:45am on Saturday, the 13th of January. At this point in pregnancy, sleep evaded me on and off throughout the night. I was having constant braxton-hicks contractions and I could never get comfy. But when I woke up that morning, I felt a different kind of contraction. It was like a braxton-hicks mixed with a period cramp. I laid there quietly waiting for it to pass and rubbed my belly to see if the baby would move around like he always did when I was awake and laying down. After it had passed, I didn’t feel anything again for a few hours! Around noon though, I started feeling that same type of contraction. After this time, they continued to happen every 30-45 minutes. I told my husband, “Just FYI, I’m definitely having contractions”. We already had the car seat installed and our bags packed for the hospital so we were pretty much ready to go whenever. These super mild contractions continued on sporadically throughout the rest of the day. We were supposed to go to my parent’s house for dinner but I was pretty sure we would be having a baby within the next 24 hours and I just wanted to be home, so we decided to stay home.

Around 8pm I wanted to take a shower just so I felt clean going to the hospital. The contractions had picked up to every 20-25 minutes and I was losing my mucus plug. After I showered, it felt like things really slowed down so I was just relaxing, sitting on my medicine ball, rocking forward and back and rolling my hips side to side. Things started picking up again around 10pm so I called the hospital to let them know what was happening. The nurse recommended I wait a while before driving down (we are about an hour from the hospital) because it was my first baby and she didn’t think I was far enough along to be admitted. So, my husband and I stayed awake until 1am as things progressed and my contractions were coming at the rate of 2 every 10 minutes. The pain was at about a 2-3 at this point, super mild still and I was talking and laughing and breathing through them. We got in the car right after 1am and drove to the hospital (in the pouring rain and storming weather!) and the car ride made things a bit more intense, so I was squeezing my birthing combs (IYKYK) during contractions. We arrived at the hospital around 2am and got checked in.

I went through triage (my LEAST favorite part of the whole experience, but we can talk about that another time) and the nurse said I was 4cm dilated. She asked if I would be wanting an epidural and I said no, much to her surprise. While they were getting my birthing room ready my husband and I were walking laps around the hospital floor. We walked for an hour, and things had definitely intensified while walking. I was having to pause and breathe through each contraction. They got us into our room and told me they were going to let me do my thing, to come get them if we needed anything. So my husband went and got our bags from the car while I was on my hands and knees with my upper body resting on a medicine ball, rocking side to side. At the time it was the most comfortable position to be in. Shortly after he brought our stuff up, I told him he could try to sleep if he wanted to since we had both been up for close to 24 hours at this point. Almost as soon as he laid down, my water broke! I was still on the floor over the medicine ball and suddenly I felt this huge gush of liquid along with a huge relief in pressure. I gasped and said, “oh my god, my water just broke”. My husband immediately got up and asked if he should tell the nurse, and I said probably!

I heard the nurse excitedly say, “oh good!” and she came in to make sure the color of the amniotic fluid was okay, and to make sure I was okay. All was good at that point, but when the next contraction hit, it was absolutely insane! It felt like the intensity level went from a 4-5 to a 9 within a matter of minutes. I had to get off the floor and move to the bed, in a similar position but now my upper body was draped over the top of the bed. Contractions were extremely intense and it felt like they were coming so rapidly that I could barely relax between them. I felt like I was going to throw up, and I told my husband, “I’m going to throw up” so he grabbed the plastic bag that was meant for exactly that, and held it for me. I think I threw up twice, but I hadn’t eaten anything in a long time so it was mostly stomach acid and water. He was feeding me ice chips and trying to get me to take sips of water. I was rocking front to back and making pretty loud groaning (almost yelling) noises as I was trying to let my body do its thing. It was during this time that I feel like I traveled to another place. Like I was in another world, another universe, on another planet, completely zoned in on what I was doing. I lost all sense of time and I had zero desire to talk to or respond to anyone. Hell, I didn’t even know until months after our son was born that my husband was using our small stroller fan to cool down my neck the entire time! The nurse told me multiple times to let her know if I wanted anything for pain, or changed my mind about the epidural. I basically ignored this. I was determined and I knew I could get through this on my own.

I went through a few nurses and midwives because of shift changes, but the midwife who was originally there came in to see me before she left. She told me I was doing great, to continue exactly what I was doing and to listen to my body. The nurse that was in the room now with us said she thought she should check me, so I hesitantly let her. She said I was at a 9 with a bit of cervix left, and I knew I didn’t feel ready to push yet. She suggested trying a few different positions, which I was totally open to, so I started using the squat bar that goes across the bed to hold myself up in a squat position during contractions. This felt pretty good for a while, and I was no longer having to groan/yell through contractions. I was just super focused on trying to let my body open and relax and help my baby move down. My muscles literally started getting tight and tired from holding myself up in this position, so we moved to an inflatable birthing stool. This was okay for a little while but my legs were beginning to feel tired, and I just wanted to lay down and let my body rest in between contractions. I was feeling pushy at this point each time a contraction came, but I made it clear that I did NOT want to push on my back with my feet in stirrups (the position they automatically put most people in). The nurse suggested trying the bed sheet technique. She wrapped a sheet around the squat bar and handed me the ends.

I was laying on my left side and when a contraction came I would push my right foot against the stirrup bar and pull the sheet towards me, essentially creating force from both directions. I didn’t do this very long because it was tiring and required a lot of exertion. I switched to laying on my right side and was squeezing my husband’s hand and the side of the bed during contractions. At this point the new midwife (who I had already met and talked with multiple times) came over and told us that everything was great, I had been progressing great, the baby’s heart rate was great, BUT she didn’t want me to keep pushing for too long, so she let us know that we had the option of having a doctor come in and assist with delivery by using forceps or a vacuum. I did not respond to this, because I felt like she was rushing me and trying to hurry up my birth process so that it fit the ideal timeline of the hospital. Why would she tell me everything was great and that I was doing great, and then suggest any of these interventions? It made no sense. My husband spoke for me and said that I did not want any of that, because he knew I didn’t and we had talked about this exact type of situation prior to being there. The midwife simply said okay, I’ll be back when you need me.

When the next few contractions came, I could feel the baby’s head moving down. I could feel that he was right there – so close to being in my arms. The nurse was at the foot of the bed and had told my husband to grab my left calf/shin and bend my knee up towards my armpit to help create a better angle for the baby to move down, since I was too tired and focused to hold my own leg. This immediately helped and I could feel the baby crowning. I felt the “ring of fire” but it truly was not as bad as I was told it would be! The nurse asked me if I wanted to touch the baby’s head so I reached down and felt it. She asked my husband if he wanted to see the baby’s head, and he looked and saw his fuzzy little hairs and told me, “Hun he’s right there, I can see him!”. I don’t know if this motivated me or if it was just time, but I said out loud, “Okay, come on baby, we can do this”. When the contractions hit after that, I felt my body bear down as if it was pushing the baby out without me even needing to do anything. The nurse called the midwife back over, who began using mineral oil to help with stretching and to help the baby slide out. Suddenly I felt myself unable to stop pushing and the midwife and nurse and my husband were all saying, “There you go, there he is, keep going!”. In an instant, the baby’s head was out and the rest of his body immediately followed in one quick whoosh. It was 12:41pm. I didn’t even know he was out for a few seconds until I opened my eyes to the midwife saying, “Here’s your baby mama!”.

He was immediately placed on my chest and as I wrapped him in my arms I suddenly I felt like my energy was restored. I looked up at my husband to see tears leaving his eyes and a huge smile on his face, telling me I did it. I looked down at my son and said, “Happy Birthday baby!” as he was crying on my chest. He didn’t cry for very long – once I started talking to him it seemed like he settled down and realized he was safe with his mama. I couldn’t believe that he was here, after all we had just done and gone through, and I instantly knew that I had severely underestimated the love that I would feel for this tiny little baby when I first laid eyes on him. It was an overwhelming feeling like nothing I can describe. After about 5 minutes the midwife asked if I was ready and if my husband wanted to cut the umbilical cord. He happily did. I felt no pain, no contractions or anything while birthing the placenta. The only thing that was uncomfortable was when the midwife pushed on my abdomen to quicken the process. But once it was out I felt a huge relief of pressure; She showed it to me and told me it was a very healthy looking placenta. She then told me that my perineum was fully in tact – it didn’t tear at all – the only thing that happened was a tiny tear at the bottom of the opening of my vagina, so she wanted to do a small stitch just to make sure it healed properly. I didn’t feel any of this.

My husband had been keeping our parents updated on what was happening the whole time, and he finally was able to say, “He’s here!”. I told him I wanted my parents to come see us once we were in our over night room and told him his dad was welcome to come as well (his mom and step dad live in VA, so we FaceTimed them while I was being tended to after the placenta was born). I was very adamant the whole time I was pregnant that I wanted my birth experience to be intimate, just he and I. Despite this being controversial and not ideal for other people who would have liked to be in the room, I am beyond happy that I stuck to what I wanted. My husband was amazing during the whole thing and I am so grateful for him. From the time I woke up on Saturday with my first little contraction to the time the baby was born, it was almost exactly 30 hours. I birthed my first baby naturally, with no pain meds and no epidural or other interventions, and I was so happy and proud of myself. Not once during the entire labor and delivery process did I ever think or say, “I can’t do this”. On the contrary, I was telling myself I CAN DO THIS, I was made to do this, I am doing this, I am okay, my body knows what to do. I honestly believe my mindset was a huge factor in how well everything went and in how quick and easy my recovery after birth was. And I would gladly do it 10 times over again to have our sweet boy <3