Trigger Warning: In this post, I talk about binge eating disorder and potential triggers for disordered eating. I also talk about ways to acknowledge, overcome, and avoid binge eating during especially difficult times such as the holiday season. If you relate to any of this, I promise you there is balance to be found with food. You can do it. Thank you for being here.
The holidays: some of us LOVE them, and some of us dread them. Some of us feel indifferent about them and some of us feel confused about them. Whatever you find yourself feeling surrounding the holiday season, there is likely a long list of underlying reasons why you feel that way. With Thanksgiving quickly approaching, it’s just about time for all the shenanigans to begin – the family, the festivities, THE FOOD. And since Thanksgiving is quite literally a holiday all about celebrating with food, I figured finding food balance during the holidays was the best post to share right now.
As someone who is a recovered binge eater, I fully understand how off-putting the holidays may be (especially Thanksgiving). When all you can think about is calories, food, and how much or how little you should eat, it can be really hard to justify a big family gathering where everyone is basically eating all day. It’s not uncommon to have the mindset that you can’t eat anything until dinner because you think you’re going to eat too much or to feel like you have to workout extra hard the day before or the morning of so that you can “earn” your food. If this sounds like you or resonates with you, I promise you can (and should) still eat breakfast Thanksgiving day and you DON’T have to earn a damn thing.
Keep in mind that the desire to binge and restrict stems from feelings and emotions that you are either repressing or avoiding or both. It truly has nothing to do with the food. It’s not about the food, it never was about the food, it never will be about the food. Food is just the one thing you think you can focus on and control. But if you are restricting yourself to the point of skipping meals to make up for how much you plan to eat later, are you really in control? If you’re torturing yourself through a grueling workout just so you can justify having a slice of pie for dessert, does that sound like you’re in control or does it sound like you’re being controlled? The idea that you can’t have something simply because it’s novel to your normal eating habits, or because it’s more calorie dense, or because it doesn’t have significant nutritional value is an idea that has been created (in your mind) in a desperate attempt to have control over something when you feel like everything else is out of your control.
Let’s try to reframe this. Instead of saying, “I can’t eat breakfast or eat anything before dinner because I just know I’m going to eat so much tonight”, how about we say, “I should probably have at least one filling meal before dinner tonight so that I’m not overly hungry, and so I don’t feel the need to quickly scarf down everything in sight once I finally sit down to eat”. Rather than thinking, “Well I better workout extra hard to make up for the extra calories I’m going to consume today”, let’s say, “Working out makes me feel strong and accomplished – and there’s nothing wrong with enjoying a workout on a holiday; I should probably eat something prior to my workout as well so that I have energy to move my body”. Acknowledging your hunger and listening to your body is far better for you than trying to “make room” for things later. Working out should not be a punishment in any way – it should be a celebration of what your body can do and a means of increasing your overall health.
Food choices don’t have to be such a big deal. They don’t have to have some huge meaning or reasoning attached to them. Maybe the bread and the dessert aren’t necessary for nutrients, but do they add a level of happiness to your life in that moment? Are you able to connect with loved ones over shared food at the table? Is there a sense of enjoyment and fulfillment that comes with having tasty food and allowing yourself the freedom to enjoy treats at any given time, not just at a time you have deemed yourself worthy of them? I think the answer to most (if not all) of those questions is a resounding yes. Food is NOT just a requirement for staying alive – it is an important component of living. And your life and your worth is not defined by which foods or how much or how little you eat.
Even if you are someone who does not have a tough relationship with food or has never experienced disordered eating, these principles still apply to you. Maybe on Thanksgiving you’re going to eat more than you normally do – that’s okay! Maybe you’re going to indulge on things you typically don’t indulge on – that’s okay! Maybe you’re going to feel super full and still have dessert later – and that is OKAY. It’s not going to be the end of the world if your food on a holiday is a little different than your food in your day-to-day routine. Food is so much more than just fuel. It’s perfectly okay to enjoy it and have fun with it.
If you are struggling with binge eating or any other eating disorder, I promise you there is a way out. You can recover from it. You can make sense of it and conquer it. You can enjoy life and all the little moments – even the ones involving food. Here is the link for NEDA which has tons of resources for overcoming these challenges. Also there is an amazing therapist specializing in eating disorder recovery who shares tons of helpful tips and information for free on Instagram (along with paid courses and resources to work with her). Her name is Ryann Prentice and honestly her account has helped me so much. Her instagram is @itsryannnicole and she is absolutely worth a follow. And if nothing else, I am here for you if you are struggling with any of this during this holiday season. You’re not alone in these challenging times, and you are so deserving of being free from the things that are holding you back.
Happy Thanksgiving to all <3